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#203847 - 09/08/03 02:54 AM Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
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Q: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
A: Because they had weapons of mass destruction honey.

Q: But the inspectors didn't find any weapons of mass destruction.
A: That's because the Iraqis were hiding them.

Q: And that's why we invaded Iraq?
A: Yep. Invasions always work better than inspections.

Q: But after we invaded them, we STILL didn't find any weapons of mass destruction, did we?
A: That's because the weapons are so well hidden. Don't worry, we'll find something, probably right before the 2004 election.

Q: Why did Iraq want all those weapons of mass destruction?
A: To use them in a war, silly.

Q: I'm confused. If they had all those weapons that they planned to use in a war, then why didn't they use any of those weapons when we went to war with them?
A: Well, obviously they didn't want anyone to know they had those weapons, so they chose to die by the thousands rather than defend themselves.

Q: That doesn't make sense Daddy. Why would they choose to die if they had all those big weapons to fight us back with?
A: It's a different culture. It's not supposed to make sense.

Q: I don't know about you, but I don't think they had any of those weapons our government said they did.
A: Well, you know, it doesn't matter whether or not they had those weapons. We had another good reason to invade them anyway.

Q: And what was that?
A: Even if Iraq didn't have weapons of mass destruction, Saddam Hussein was a cruel dictator, which is another good reason to invade another country.

Q: Why? What does a cruel dictator do that makes it OK to invade his country?
A: Well, for one thing, he tortured his own people.

Q: Kind of like what they do in China?
A: Don't go comparing China to Iraq. China is a good economic competitor, where millions of people work for slave wages in sweatshops to make U.S. corporations richer.

Q: So if a country lets its people be exploited for American corporate gain, it's a good country, even if that country tortures people?
A: Right.

Q: Why were people in Iraq being tortured?
A: For political crimes, mostly, like criticizing the government. People who criticized the government in Iraq were sent to prison and tortured.

Q: Isn't that exactly what happens in China?
A: I told you, China is different.

Q: What's the difference between China and Iraq?
A: Well, for one thing, Iraq was ruled by the Ba'ath party, while China is Communist.

Q: Didn't you once tell me Communists were bad?
A: No, just Cuban Communists are bad.

Q: How are the Cuban Communists bad?
A: Well, for one thing, people who criticize the government in Cuba are sent to prison and tortured.

Q: Like in Iraq?
A: Exactly.

Q: And like in China, too?
A: I told you, China's a good economic competitor. Cuba, on the other hand, is not.

Q: How come Cuba isn't a good economic competitor?
A: Well, you see, back in the early 1960s, our government passed some laws that made it illegal for Americans to trade or do any business with Cuba until they stopped being Communists and started being capitalists like us.

Q: But if we got rid of those laws, opened up trade with Cuba, and started doing business with them, wouldn't that help the Cubans become capitalists?
A: Don't be a smart-ass.

Q: I didn't think I was being one.
A: Well, anyway, they also don't have freedom of religion in Cuba.

Q: Kind of like China and the Falun Gong movement?
A: I told you, stop saying bad things about China. Anyway, Saddam Hussein came to power through a military coup, so he's not really a legitimate leader anyway.

Q: What's a military coup?
A: That's when a military general takes over the government of a country by force, instead of holding free elections like we do in the United States.

Q: Didn't the ruler of Pakistan come to power by a military coup?
A: You mean General Pervez Musharraf? Uh, yeah, he did, but Pakistan is our friend.

Q: Why is Pakistan our friend if their leader is illegitimate?
A: I never said Pervez Musharraf was illegitimate.

Q: Didn't you just say a military general who comes to power by forcibly overthrowing the legitimate government of a nation is an illegitimate leader?
A: Only Saddam Hussein. Pervez Musharraf is our friend, because he helped us invade Afghanistan.

Q: Why did we invade Afghanistan?
A: Because of what they did to us on September 11th.

Q: What did Afghanistan do to us on September 11th?
A: Well, on September 11th, nineteen men, fifteen of them Saudi Arabians, hijacked four airplanes and flew three of them into buildings, killing over 3,000 Americans.

Q: So how did Afghanistan figure into all that?
A: Afghanistan was where those bad men trained, under the oppressive rule of the Taliban.

Q: Aren't the Taliban those bad radical Islamics who chopped off people's heads and hands?
A: Yes, that's exactly who they were. Not only did they chop off people's heads and hands, but they oppressed women, too.

Q: Didn't the Bush administration give the Taliban 43 million dollars back in May of 2001?
A: Yes, but that money was a reward because they did such a good job fighting drugs.

Q: Fighting drugs?
A: Yes, the Taliban were very helpful in stopping people from growing opium poppies.

Q: How did they do such a good job?
A: Simple. If people were caught growing opium poppies, the Taliban would have their hands and heads cut off.

Q: So, when the Taliban cut off people's heads and hands for growing flowers, that was OK, but not if they cut people's heads and hands off for other reasons?
A: Yes. It's OK with us if radical Islamic fundamentalists cut off people's hands for growing flowers, but it's cruel if they cut off people's hands for stealing bread.

Q: Don't they also cut off people's hands and heads in Saudi Arabia?
A: That's different. Afghanistan was ruled by a tyrannical patriarchy that oppressed women and forced them to wear burqas whenever they were in public, with death by stoning as the penalty for women who did not comply.

Q: Don't Saudi women have to wear burqas in public, too?
A: No, Saudi women merely wear a traditional Islamic body covering.

Q: What's the difference?
A: The traditional Islamic covering worn by Saudi women is a modest yet fashionable garment that covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes and fingers. The burqa, on the other hand, is an evil tool of patriarchal oppression that covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes and fingers.

Q: It sounds like the same thing with a different name.
A: Now, don't go comparing Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia. The Saudis are our friends.

Q: But I thought you said 15 of the 19 hijackers on September 11th were from Saudi Arabia.
A: Yes, but they trained in Afghanistan.

Q: Who trained them?
A: A very bad man named Osama bin Laden.

Q: Was he from Afghanistan?
A: Uh, no, he was from Saudi Arabia too. But he was a bad man, a very bad man.

Q: I seem to recall he was our friend once.
A: Only when we helped him and the mujahadeen repel the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan back in the 1980s.

Q: Who are the Soviets? Was that the Evil Communist Empire Ronald Reagan talked about?
A: There are no more Soviets. The Soviet Union broke up in 1990 or thereabouts, and now they have elections and capitalism like us. We call them Russians now.

Q: So the Soviets, I mean, the Russians, are now our friends?
A: Well, not really. You see, they were our friends for many years after they stopped being Soviets, but then they decided not to support our invasion of Iraq, so we're mad at them now. We're also mad at the French and the Germans because they didn't help us invade Iraq either.

Q: So the French and Germans are evil, too?
A: Not exactly evil, but just bad enough that we had to rename French fries and French toast to Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast.

Q: Do we always rename foods whenever another country doesn't do what we want them to do?
A: No, we just do that to our friends. Our enemies, we invade.

Q: But wasn't Iraq one of our friends back in the 1980s?
A: Well, yeah. For a while.

Q: Was Saddam Hussein ruler of Iraq back then?
A: Yes, but at the time he was fighting against Iran, which made him our friend, temporarily.

Q: Why did that make him our friend?
A: Because at that time, Iran was our enemy.

Q: Isn't that when he gassed the Kurds?
A: Yeah, but since he was fighting against Iran at the time, we looked the other way, to show him we were his friend.

Q: So anyone who fights against one of our enemies automatically becomes our friend?
A: Most of the time, yes.

Q: And anyone who fights against one of our friends is automatically an enemy?
A: Sometimes that's true, too. However, if American corporations can profit by selling weapons to both sides at the same time, all the better.

Q: Why?
A: Because war is good for the economy, which means war is good for America. Also, since God is on America's side, anyone who opposes war is a godless un-American Communist. Do you understand now why we attacked Iraq?

Q: I think so. We attacked them because God wanted us to, right?
A: Yes.

Q: But how did we know God wanted us to attack Iraq?
A: Well, you see, God personally speaks to George W. Bush and tells him what to do.

Q: So basically, what you're saying is that we attacked Iraq because George W. Bush hears voices in his head?
A: Yes! You finally understand how the world works. Now close your eyes, make yourself comfortable, and go to sleep. Good night.

Good night, Daddy.
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nom nom nom

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#203848 - 09/08/03 07:47 AM Re: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
bn300 Offline
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Registered: 19/09/00
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Loc: Buffalo, MN
Cute.
Good news, Ian! Northwest airlines will soon be offering flights to Baghdad. Move.
[Finger]
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#203849 - 09/08/03 08:34 AM Re: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
Powerguy38 Offline
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Registered: 11/08/01
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I was always under the impression if you don't like your job or where you live, leave. The world is a big place, find a new spot. [Wave]
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#203850 - 09/08/03 08:44 AM Re: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
Mobycat Offline
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Didn't see too many people leaving when Clinton was in office and people were bitching about him. They didn't like it...why didn't they leave?

...stirring the embers....
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"Nature has constituted utility to man the standard and test of virtue. Men living in different countries, under different circumstances, different habits and regimens, may have different utilities; the same act, therefore, may be useful and consequently virtuous in one country which is injurious and vicious in another differently circumstanced" - Thomas Jefferson, moral relativist

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#203851 - 09/08/03 09:36 AM Re: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
MBFlyerfan Offline
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Registered: 30/04/01
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Humorous.

So what you are saying is that we should invade Cuba, China, Pakistan and Saudi Arabia? Cool.

I am glad Opium is just flowers, now I can plant it in my garden.
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#203852 - 09/08/03 09:55 AM Re: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
Claus Offline
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Registered: 05/07/02
Posts: 4373
[LOL] [LOL] [LOL] The old saying, truth comes from Kids and drunks...Good one Ian
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#203853 - 09/08/03 10:43 AM Re: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
XOC Offline
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I guess Powerguy and BN didn't quite understand that post.
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nom nom nom

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#203854 - 09/08/03 10:43 AM Re: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
Mobycat Offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by mbflyerfan:
I am glad Opium is just flowers, now I can plant it in my garden.
Pot is just a weed. laugh

(Well, it sure is in the midwest.)
_________________________
"Nature has constituted utility to man the standard and test of virtue. Men living in different countries, under different circumstances, different habits and regimens, may have different utilities; the same act, therefore, may be useful and consequently virtuous in one country which is injurious and vicious in another differently circumstanced" - Thomas Jefferson, moral relativist

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#203855 - 09/08/03 10:58 AM Re: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
Powerguy38 Offline
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Quote:
I guess Powerguy and BN didn't quite understand that post.
To tell you the truth Ian, It was early and I sorted skimmed thought it. I have re-read it and found it very boring and nothing new. [Sleep] Just sounds like the ranting of someone unemployed. [Too much XOC]
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#203856 - 09/08/03 11:02 AM Re: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
XOC Offline
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I'm not sure if the original author is unemployed or not.
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#203857 - 09/08/03 11:12 AM Re: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
BoneCrusher Offline
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Registered: 04/02/03
Posts: 809
Loc: In a Bar near YOU!
one word
dumb

thats all
just dumb

its too bad the majority of iraqi people are happy

But enough of that lets beat a dead horse
WHEEEEEE
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Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms should be a convenience store not a government agency

99% of democrats give the rest a bad name

Liberals are constantly Inflaming the culture war. They seem to forget which side has all the guns.

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#203858 - 09/08/03 11:20 AM Re: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
bn300 Offline
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Registered: 19/09/00
Posts: 1501
Loc: Buffalo, MN
I understood it, I know where you are coming from and I feel qualified to say that if anyone does not like this country and its' protocol, leave or make a difference by getting involved.
I choose not to get involved in a way other than casting my vote(for now).
The bottom line is shit or get off the pot. Bash the US and you might as well piss on all of our troops protecting our asses.
I will add that Ian was not bashing anyone, but simply reposting a "humorous" joke.
Is it his opiion? I can't say. But I have a good guess.
[Freak]
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#203859 - 09/08/03 11:22 AM Re: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
NY Madman Offline
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Damn.... Talk about leftist bullshit.

I am curious as to which left wing propaganda site that came from?

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#203860 - 09/08/03 11:33 AM Re: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
socalpunx Offline
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Registered: 24/08/01
Posts: 6327
Loc: The land of losers and liberal...
Quote:
Originally posted by bn300:
Bash the US and you might as well piss on all of our troops protecting our asses.
Why is questioning the government and their economic and foreign policies considered unpatriotic? Since when is being a good citizen defined by your ability to side with the huddled masses in their unquestioning loyalty to the regime? And lastly , what the hell does that have to do with either supporting or no supporting the troops?

If G.W. and Co. decided to invade Mexico in the desire to annex the country , the troops would be forced by their orders from their commander and chief weather they wanted to or not. The troops are no more responsible for the nature of their missions than my three year old is responsible for where we go when we leave the house.

We live in scary times indeed.
_________________________
If we do not succeed, then we run the risk of failure. - Vice President James Danforth "Dan" Quayle

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#203861 - 09/08/03 11:47 AM Re: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
bn300 Offline
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Registered: 19/09/00
Posts: 1501
Loc: Buffalo, MN
My point is that we need to trust our elected officials. I know that sounds stupid and impossible, but the last time I checked, there was not a dailey top secret briefing in my mailbox. Admit it, we may be a democratic society, but other than voting(Floridians don't count), we have litle say in how this country is run. I trust that GW and Co. will do everything they can to prevent another 9/11. To that end, I trust them to continue to keep our country safe by any means.
The comment about our troops is a reflection of how I feel about our country and our troops. They are representing this nation, its values and its people. My point is that if you don't stand behind them or believe the government is doing the right thing, then leave or try to make it better.
Did I mention I'm going fishing in Canada next week? I plan to piss outside every chance I get and bring in all of my own provisions. Dammit to Hell that I can only bring 24 cans of beer!
[Argue]
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#203862 - 09/08/03 12:18 PM Re: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
socalpunx Offline
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Registered: 24/08/01
Posts: 6327
Loc: The land of losers and liberal...
I have to say first that the actions and deeds of our military , although brave and resiliant , are not representative of all Americans at all times. Yes , they often times are called on to defend the causes and freedom of all Americans , which I for one appreciate. But they are also employees of the federal government who are at times called upon to further the agenda of the goverment to whom they answer to.

Trust our elected officials until they piss off too many people and they become subject to recall , right?

That's what amuses me about the "if you don't like it here then move to (insert horrible terrible place to live here) or just get the fuck out" mentality is that it only works if you DO support the current regime.

The beauty of our system , that does set us apart from Iraq or China or the old U.S.S.R is that dissidents and people who do disagree with the policies of our elected officials can stand up and speak their minds and rally opposition support without risk of reprisals from the government.

In California , I'm sure the current administration is doing a bang up job of staying on top of Homeland Security. But , other aspects of their performance have failed miserably so the people spoke loud enough to make a difference.

Remember : the government answers to the people . It is NOT the other way arround.

If you remove healthy discussion , debate and dissagreement from the equation and force the populace through intimidation from their peers to sit idly by and be silent , you then extinguish the very liberties that this country so proudly stands behind as the thing that makes us great.
_________________________
If we do not succeed, then we run the risk of failure. - Vice President James Danforth "Dan" Quayle

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#203863 - 09/08/03 12:25 PM Re: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
bn300 Offline
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Registered: 19/09/00
Posts: 1501
Loc: Buffalo, MN
Very well put.
Seems we agree then?
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#203864 - 09/08/03 01:21 PM Re: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
XOC Offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by NY Madman:
Damn.... Talk about leftist bullshit.
Everything in that post is true, do some research, then explain how it's bullshit.
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nom nom nom

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#203865 - 09/08/03 01:34 PM Re: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
NY Madman Offline
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Registered: 09/05/02
Posts: 5232
Loc: Florida
Quote:
Originally posted by xoc:

Everything in that post is true, do some research, then explain how it's bullshit.
Come on Ian... Give me a break. What research? The China and Cuba bullshit alone is piled high. Never mind God's direct line to George Bush.

A couple of the Q & A's may be true but that is only to hook the reader in. I really don't feel like refuting every single line even on a rainy afternoon. It's pretty long. It's also definitely lefty bullshit from some leftist web site.

Why don't we start by you mentioning the site you found this on. If it was an email...identify the source.

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#203866 - 09/08/03 01:53 PM Re: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
Stone4x4 Offline
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Registered: 28/07/01
Posts: 1277
Loc: Chandler AZ
Don't pay poor Ian any mind. He's just bitter that he can't support himself, and can't pay his bills. He blames the current national administration because it doesn't conform to his belief system. He can't see that the IT industry was a wave he rode on without ever leaving his house and may now actually have to find a marketable skill and carry his ass to work everyday and put up the same bullshit the majority of us do.

Maybe if he had voted things would be different, but alas, he did not.

No vote=shut the fuck up and read the want ads. [Finger]
_________________________
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Twice.

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#203867 - 09/08/03 01:55 PM Re: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
off2cjb Offline
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Registered: 23/10/00
Posts: 4557
Quote:
Originally posted by xoc:
Quote:
Originally posted by NY Madman:
[b]Damn.... Talk about leftist bullshit.
Everything in that post is true, do some research, then explain how it's bullshit.[/b]
Research what Ian, CNN? Get serious. All your anti-this and anti-that crap is not truth. It was spun by people smarter than you to make it appear as truth to you weak liberal-minded people. They have you all so caged up and in control it is pathetic.
The DNC says jump, you all say how high. Not one of you gave it a thought to check to see if you would hit your head on the ceiling. Blind dingbats falling over what is fed to you.
The movie the "Matrix" is really the truth about the DNC.
Research that jerky drawers.

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#203868 - 09/08/03 02:07 PM Re: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
Claus Offline
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Registered: 05/07/02
Posts: 4373
This is cool, fianlly some quality entertainment. Ian, how did the interview go?. Perhaps you should pull up and move upstairs, Good MTB trails, good Beer and I am sure you cold find a job....
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#203869 - 09/08/03 02:35 PM Re: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
RJ Offline
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Registered: 09/04/03
Posts: 780
Loc: 100 Mile House, BC
Nice post Ian

Fianlly, one American that has not been completely fooled by Bush

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#203870 - 09/08/03 02:42 PM Re: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
MBFlyerfan Offline
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Registered: 30/04/01
Posts: 4450
Loc: NJ, Just east of the Walt.
Quote:
Originally posted by RJ:
Nice post Ian

Fianlly, one American that has not been completely fooled by Bush
[Laughing] [Spit]
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#203871 - 09/08/03 03:04 PM Re: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
Mobycat Offline
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Registered: 12/09/00
Posts: 8375
Loc: the hue of dungeons and the sc...
Quote:
Originally posted by NY Madman:
Damn.... Talk about leftist bullshit.

I am curious as to which left wing propaganda site that came from?
If you do a google on "Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?", it comes up with around 700 sites. (Including a nazi site (stormfront), and a church site (UUC)).

Almost entirely newsgroups and blogs.
_________________________
"Nature has constituted utility to man the standard and test of virtue. Men living in different countries, under different circumstances, different habits and regimens, may have different utilities; the same act, therefore, may be useful and consequently virtuous in one country which is injurious and vicious in another differently circumstanced" - Thomas Jefferson, moral relativist

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